I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
