You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
