would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
