mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
