You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
