I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
