Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize