Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
