my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
