Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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