And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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