I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
