let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
