last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
