in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
