let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it's like heaven, but drunker
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
