you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
