Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
