Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
