If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
