she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
