I swear she didn't look like that last week.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
