He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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