using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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