so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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