so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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