i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
