At least make sure they are 18
Why
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
