dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
