I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
