Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
