just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
