you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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