I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
