Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When are your genitals available?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize