you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
