I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
