did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
