First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Green mimosas i think yes
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize