The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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