Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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