She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
