Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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