this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
