next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
