Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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