This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
