i permit you to call me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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