Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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