This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize