Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
