is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
