i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
