'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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