you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
