I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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