I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
