Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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