guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
